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LoveLove! Still Messing About, Taking it Apart and Getting it Together
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May the four winds blow you safely home.
May you be blessed in the ones you love, that they deserve it and hold you precious.
May you see more beauty than bitter in your life.
May you fall in love with something small and tender and help it grow.
May the sun shine on you and let you know you are loved.
May the cloudy day wrap you in its mystery and carry you safely home.
lovelove,
me.
Its been over a month since my last post. I’d apologize but its been out of my control because my brain has been entirely on strike.
My friends, do you know what a demogorgon is? Its a thing from greek mythology really but has been popularized on the Stranger Things series. It’s a monster. A monster.
It is what my brain has been like this month. Just flayed, spread out and incapable. (looks like a flower, but carries a whole lot of teeth) while my body does all the things necessary: kids are mostly fed, laundry is done and even folded, sports are attended, jobs are attended, my brain has been uninvolved.
its spring, the things are growing, the work is much more, the chickens are big now, the graduation is looming, there is a man in town who is dear and domestic and sexy, and all the things that are exploding my brain and that i talk a lot to my therapist about, are having me walk around in a bit of a daze.
i’ve been sashaying my way around the place, not knowing which way i’m going, not knowing anything but what is on the sport schedule for the day and if i need to provide food. thats it, thats the sum total of my brain’s abilities. still with the sashay.
some might call it a drunken stagger. but whatever.
I’m laughing. mostly. sigh.
still sashaying.
swing it, girls.
-lovelove
Its spring and I’ve started to want to rake things. I just volunteered to clean the duck pen out on a day that I don’t usually work because the weather has changed and I am in love with everything. Try and stop me.
(my farmer will pay me, don’t worry.)
I love the smell of too cold dirt, getting muddy at its edges, as it, too, feels itself.
I love the people doing the jobs, the cashiers, the bus drivers, the people who’s real lives are outside of the work they do, but they’re showing up. showing up and showing up. keeping the world on its feet.
I love the people who say what they do as their identity. How incredible. God bless ’em, showing up and showing up. artists, farmers, healers, plumbers, keeping the world in water and wisdom, maybe even beauty if we get lucky. we so often do.
I love that so many humans have pets. come on and love a strange little beastie, come on. I love Bella the cat and Eddie the dog and the ten little wee dinosaur birds that are chirping in the next room. I also love the nearly 1500 big dinosaur birds that I get to feed each week. Them’s a lotta bird.
I love all the kids, all of them, with all of the learning they still have to do, and all they have to teach us as they do. (especial love today to trans kids and the kids without a box. holding them to the deepest depth of my ability. how incredibly brave they are to make something new.)
I love watching kids grow. I love watching spring hit this part of the earth. Yellow has begun to arrive and I am captured.
I love the candy, oh man, I do. too much. I could fill notebooks on the days when candy has gotten me through. My teeth are sad, sometimes, and probably my internal organs, but my god, I love it, and the relationship we have.
I love good parents and the ones who love their kids. I love all of us. the hard work we do for them. the way we love them long after they leave the house we first met them in. forever and a day.
I love the weirdos. I do. The truth is, everyone is a little bit weird. so, guess what?
I LOVE US!!
(This message brought to you by the sun, and the dirt and the outside.)
it was just valentine’s day and this single woman is here to make you a love list.
I love you guys. Go search for more things to add to your love list. Its the only thing that matters, that love list. Really.