Its hard to be a hermit in the spring. It really is. And I’m torn, because I want to close the doors and shut off the news and still believe in my own recycling and composting as enough to hold off the tides. My little beach shack is getting battered by reality and i’m not digging it. so i have shut off the news in many ways.
Its a twist, right? I don’t want to be ignorant of what is going on – but my heart and mind are blown away, and it becomes hard to function in the ways I need to function. So it is off. And i’m going head down into my seedlings, into the dirt, into the hope and meaning of the seeds. I’m going to send my love into the ground and hope it makes its way all over the globe. earth to earth.
Its the spring, things and thinks burst out from seemingly nothing. All this time, they’ve just been waiting. It can be its own overwhelm, but I am hungry for it. And overwhelmed by it. the irony, the ache. the swell, the burst. all of it.
i had a writing workshop last night with a friend. As it was, i think we spent equal time drooling over the sag paneer and chana masala as we did writing, but i don’t care. I wrote. Just for me, and i had a few lines of ecstasy. (non-snortable)
(If anyone would like to partake, please let me know. we’re planning a saturday in may, kitchen table workshop baby. write and share at your pleasure. It is so good to have company, i tell you. so good. its a natural antidote to the news, and the hermitry.)
*Okay, i’m off to check on my baby plants, and then i’m going to wash eggs for most of the day. The joy of the variety in front of me is strong with me. And yes, I think I’ve left the honeymoon phase, and its just the work, and I’m good with that. Work is good, grounding. While I can pine, and miss the expansiveness of time and space and how my brain works there, this is the new normal for me, for a while. And i’m okay. We will see where it goes, and how my ether responds to structure.
Today I have hope for it.
Love you, in tiredness and hope,