Remember how I don’t know Yiddish? I still don’t.
Things that seem small but are not.
- Getting dressed, like, fully. even put on a necklace and dug around in my drawers til i found comfy pants that I haven’t worn since the summer. I always get dressed, mostly, but I wear the same five things all the time, and its not necessarily representative of anything connected to me, the actual me under all this skin.
- Deciding not to date because we don’t want the same thing. I want the whole shebang including crazy love and hope for the future. His intelligence meant he had words for what I was feeling. Isn’t that fantastic? and sad, a little, yes.
- Incredibly grateful that my instincts are good and I’ve been surrounded by good men for a long time now.
- Got home from the grocery store and my kid came around the corner and into the kitchen and said ‘I’m in class but I can help’. I leaned into his chest and hugged him and let him help. My kid is five inches taller than I am, at least. I know he was skipping class but man, that’s the rightest reason ever.
- Spent time thinking about what I really want, and if settling into companionship would feel good or feel like death. These are pretty different things, and I’m in mid-life pretty certainly, and on any given day, the answer is different. but today? i think death.
Today is just five, because there is no rule and no expectation. These are small, big things and I’m tired out, kind of. I’ve got big plans to get all the gardenware put away into the shed today, or at least this weekend. and i’ve already taken out the compost. so there. Its not even noon and the wildness is out of control.
I’ve gotten two jobs/projects with high school friends this week. How crazy is that? It IS crazy.
Tell me your small bigs. Do it.