so, there are these things.
- everyone should get divorced. everyone. because during the time that the former-spouse has the kids, you do not. so what i get is three full days before christmas in which i actually roll around in christmas spirit. i might bake cookies, i might wrap something. I danced in the kitchen. i reveled. in the spirit of sparkle and gifting of greens, and all of it. i even went out to a store on christmas eve, to buy myself a present. god bless marshall’s. i don’t think i’ve ever been into a store on christmas eve and i was there really early, and i was so happy to see that the employees were mostly giddy and laughing, and not beleagured.
- don’t get divorced because i say so. really.
- but maybe you could shake things up and send them to your folks before the holiday, to give yourself your own merry. if you have folks, if you like merry.
- i just came downstairs after a long bath, ready to order pizza for dinner because i’ve been ill, and i’m ready for bed. Its 1:23 in the afternoon. this was both, a funny moment and a sad one. the kids have been on screens for the entire day, and made their own lunches while i pointed weakly from the chair. barely.
- my mom dropped off gatorades because the 6 year old and i were not keeping down any water and i was concerned about other things… 6 year old has now fully recovered and even ate chicken nuggets. that is frankly disgusting and i’m aware of the possibility of demonic possession.
- i am not recovered. but i’m typing, i’m looking out the window. i’m so glad Christmas is over. Its just too much for my kids. Its all meerrrgh. too many inflated expectations and disappointed faces. its insane.
do you like it? Christmas, I mean. If you do christmas? (though i’ve heard hannukah has its own challenges… and lasts 8 freaking days….) i like it, but only for my rolling around in glitter experience, not as an experience i have with kids. 
I’m not sure its good for them, and I’m sort of tired of doing it to them.
i’m not sure the ‘spirit of Christmas’ means someone should be distraught because they are just overstimulated.
there’s something of a feeling of being trapped by the expectations, as a parent… and i’d like to figure something out to change it up a bit, maybe give them a few more options as they move out into the world.
hm. we’ll see. i’ve got a little time.
