right between the eyes.

my head hurts. right there, between my eyes, but sort of off to the right… my teeth hurt, i feel the headache in front of my ears.
all this, you say, all this? yes.

i’m squinting at the screen. i think the font has changed. but i’m squinting, so who the hell knows? (the font had changed… i was typing in the html view). dang.

this blog now has tracking, analytics, an email optin for a newsletter that i hope i write sometime… i’m not entirely sure everything is connected to the right things. its a switchboard nightmare…

although, what am i going to say? a newsletter? anyone want that? really? you dig? i say it here, whatever i’ve got, i drop it here, like steaming….

i don’t really want to sell anything… i’m getting stretched out. pinched.

sand in the eyes.

i’m not in a dire situation. i’ve eaten too much sugar and i want to fight someone while i sleep. a satisfying kick-ass dream, where, yet again… i don’t get hit. .

i’ve picked the slate back up again, y’all, back on the online dating scene.

mostly for kicks, to be less bored with my time-stretching weekends…
and right now i’m chatting with a guy in california.

i’m no dummy. california is not going to happen. but i’m mostly convinced that he isn’t who he says he is… should be fluent in english but he says he’s from texas and he spelled Houston wrong…. i can’t wait to see what happens….
if he asks me to fly him here I’ll blog it live. i swear.

i didn’t really intend to pick up the slate. i posted a photo of myself on instagram and tagged it #singlemom and guess what? i got at least 5 messages on instagram. who knew that was a thing? men trolling single moms??

yeah, why would that be a problem?

meh. my eyebrows are hurting. the switchboard tentacles have won for the day…


marketing office working business
Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

save me popeye….

Humanity, Uncategorized

Messing About

….and making a mess..

one of the things i’m trying to do is make this place a more ‘bonified’ site. which of course is ridiculous as i have less than 30 readers currently. ! but i love my 30 readers so i’ve got to apologize for any whack that comes through in the meantime.

an empty shop, new analytics programs, ads, twitter, the national political game…oh my gawd, blaghblah… all things i’m trying to add in to my worldview and i am currently in the overwhelmed-by-change stage of my Monday morning.  hopefully the words will still come through all the streamers hanging from the ceiling… I’m just not at all sure that all the things are connected and i really need a goddamned mentor who can tell me what the hell is going on.

because i no longer know.

feet legs animal farm
Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

its not that unfamiliar a place for me, frankly.  right? i mean, certainly politically the past few years have been pretty damn volatile, and the whole world is off kilter, somehow.

people are mean, and small, and i don’t think i’ve ever settled on that as firmly as i am today.

but i’m curious about tomorrow. and November.

and i wonder if all this will be old-hat for me at some point.

there is this sense of arrival that i’m waiting for… not yet, not yet, the wind is whispering…

my curiosity is piqued… my overwhelm is high, but i’m hanging in…



hang in there, all of us…

Humanity, Uncategorized

Venturing into YOUTUBE

OH my god, you guys. this was hysterical, and mostly because i had to do that schpiel like four times, because first i used my laptop camera, which, evidently, doesn’t share to anywhere. so, second go… dog barks, in my face, halfway through. third go, its on instagram but i don’t really want it on instagram… and number four, Phone.

is that not amazing? that my lil’ bitty phone is the most reliable and easy to use of all the tech i am surrounded by? i think its amazing.  maybe even a little daunting, and i should probably treat it better.

anyways, here it is… my very first youtube video…

Humanity, Uncategorized

What’s the point?

Whats the point of blogging? Why do we do it? Why do we read it?  If I’m imagining that people who read here are essentially other women bloggers… what are we doing?

what about dad bloggers? is that a thing? is there no fun acronym for you? SEAL… Secretive Educated And Literate?  thats lame… Nachoaveragedad? n.a.d.?

i don’t just read parents, of course. i like to read book reviews, and national geographic type educational worldviews, etc. I haven’t really figured out the wordpress way to gather the things i read together to share, it seems the preference is geared towards wordpress-hosted sites, and i haven’t been here long enough to be firmly kitted out.

I’m still being influenced by Kerry’s book, obviously to me.  Her blog is over at PickleMeThis… wicked smart and often bookish… said lovingly.

I’m sort of making it a goal to share people and places I like a lot more often. Last week it was Hannah and now we have Kerry. I smile because of them. and think. millions of dollars, that is worth…

i think i know, for myself, that i’m seeking connections here, that i’m practicing my practice of daily writing, and that i’m trying to sort things out.  and why a public practice?  I don’t really know, and perhaps I am further cliched in being a sign of my times… needing the responsiveness of the universe.  even when i’m not getting comments, i’m getting emails, and mailings and so forth…

I’m always curious how other people do it.  How does Kerry walk around between readings? How does she have time for all those books?  How does Hannah walk around between coaching sessions? How does she handle her own one wild life?

I certainly don’t know how i handle my one wild life.  I’m in it, slogging and staring out the window, feeling scared and overwhelmed, brittle and supple at times, sexy and manky all at once. all the things, all the things.  a multitude.

all the things i feel are allowed here, organized or not. and i am really grateful that i’ve had the outlet. in my marriage it was a secret code to share my unhappiness and i’m not even sure i completely understood how much I needed it.

1004180811_hdrand now? CONNECTION .

so, there is more, there is always more. and i’m going to think it and feel it and and you’ll see it as i work through it… because its a connection…