My moods are so erratic lately. I’m fine, I am, and when my moods shift, I’m able to watch them while experiencing them. its a little surreal, actually.
I dropped my kid off to camp and haven’t heard from him in five days. This is as it should be, but my god. Its phantom pain, I know, the missing limb calling to me from his barefooted happy place.
my sixteen year old applied for his permit to drive. it was blocked because my license was expired and the birth certificate was not original. So, as far as he is concerned, it was all me. Believe me, I feel the guilt.
I did a great job in a weekend of driving, seeing places that were stunning in their beauty and their role in my past, and driving to greataunts and uncles and cousins and then some more driving. I only made one kid nauseous, once.
I did yoga this morning and for the first time ever, was probably the youngest there. there was a great deal of focus on ‘i am.’ and i’m into that, and lost about it sometimes. it still kicked my ass and is making me a little grumpy.
And my mood on this rainy day makes me want to go into a dark cool cave and sit with my nose to the stone, shutting it all down somehow. I’m feeling overstimulated.
I had my tarot read for me when I got back from my trip, and her first question was, ‘are you very tired?’ and i laughed and laughed until it went crazy sideways. a doozy. I really liked her ways, I know her in person happily but i do, i do, i recommend her highly to anyone who feels like a virtual reading, you can do google meet so you can see her face, or you can do it over the phone. your call, lovelies. You can find her at http://joannakessling.com and on instagram at @paper.birchtarot Have at it. What I find, is that what comes up in cards and in questions, is what i’m already thinking of. Its not magic, (unless you want it to be) … its just reminders, and reminders are necessary. Like, bat-to-the-head necessary.
like, kate, take care of yourself. just baby steps. and remember you’re a goddamn joy bubble. anyone who doesn’t like it can take a flying leap. (um, joanna didn’t say that. but i did.)
heh.
love you. i figure this once a week thing might stay through til the kids go back to school. just the way it is.
love you, love you.
kate
Being self-aware is a wonderful thing. It means you can take control of yourself when life around you seems out of control. It means you can alter your thoughts, emotions, moods actions to make your life better, comport with your values and life situation, and to bring peace of mind. -Those who aren’t aware of their internal life are often dull or dangerous. Another thing to be grateful for. As Socrates said, The unexamined life is not worth living.