the boiler broke down. the sink clogged for two days. Now I have some kind of problem with a circuit and I have no stove or microwave. I’m totally chill. Last night I cried, on the inside, waves of self-pity.
I’ve gotten the boiler fixed. I fixed the sink and I’m waiting on God to help with the circuits because whatever has happened is defying all logic. And I’m just going without until it solves. Yes, I am.
So, the self-pity is not inaction. Its just getting worn down, feeling like quitting. I have this sometimes as I’m sure all humans do. Last night was my night for just feeling like a failure, because things aren’t easy, and they keep being that way.
BUT then, in getting takeout, I kvetched to the lady about the circuits, and she told a story of her brother ‘fixing’ a faucet and causing a geyser in the kitchen which went through to flood the basement. So we laughed, and put our heads on the countertops in defeat. And she gave me two pieces of chocolate cake for free.
There is kindness and laughter and its just life. I can handle it. I get tired sometimes, and I can handle that too.
I have crockpots and matches, so I’m good without an oven. Its going to be fine. My stiff upper lip is vibrating with heat, so I might be lying about that. (there’s always a tell when i’m lying to myself, always.)
My nephew is here and its been awesome how much that has lifted them all off their screens. Snow play, ‘hotel’ making, just plain running and a whole lot of trash talk… its been good. But now I want to take a big nap and not wake up at 4:30 for a little long time. February vacation indeed.
Fingers crossed for Thursday, when all three kids will be in school at the same time, one for the first time, since last March.
Fingers crossed and words to heaven, please.