My nephew is here. I saw him last this summer, when we met at a rental house for a couple of days. My brother’s son. The cutest bean ever.
All I can hear right now is screaming from the other end of the house, and running feet. The house is old enough that if you run on the right spot, the whole thing shakes. We’ve been shook now several times.
When they all disappeared upstairs, I got some work done. I’ve shifted my ‘work space’ to move out of the kitchen, out of ‘being central”. I thought I would feel in danger, like military people when they sit with their backs to the door. That somehow I was neglecting, being willfully negligent of all the kid-action of the house.
Turns out, the bastards follow me.
So there’s that.
But. also. I was sitting here doing work and I realized I was expecting someone else. I was expecting some other adult to ‘come home’. Isn’t that insane? I have been on my own now for five years, except for that lovely interlude with LM. Who am I waiting for?
Why does the brain work like it does? How do you grow to trust it when its obviously overworked and delusional? A habit of thought from five years ago or even one year ago?
It was a doozy. A doozy to realize. I’m not sad or anything but if I’m suspicious of my own brain, then what?