i wish i could show you all the details i have been seeing lately. with a curated swath of beautiful photos, dew on the grass, beautiful natural light showcasing the inner glow of a woman.
but, no, not really. that is evidently the strength given to others. i’m much more of a mashup. my strengths mixing and matching my surroundings on any given day. and i’m tired. maybe just an adrenalin crash and an open door when its just *not quite* warm enough.
and still.
guys.
there is a guy.- i don’t want to be the girl who talks about a guy.
- i’m not sure when i started thinking that women who talked about men were foolish, but i’ve gotten there. i’m pretty sure its not valid thinking.
- i’ve got 164 dollars in the bank, not counting a cd i got 4 years ago that i will not touch unless the house burns down and i need to shelter the kids from a storm.
- i’m going to montreal this weekend. have a passport and a sister and mother who are driving it all. unless i drive some too, which i sure will offer to.
- i’ve been given a gigantic bouquet of new friendships, and i can’t believe it, and its almost as remarkable as having a guy around. and maybe even more so, frankly.
- i have developed a belief that nothing gold can stay. this is causing problems. and might be a pervasive belief that i have a hard time unraveling from my daily life, if i can even do such a thing.
- i’m tired and pretty happy but the tired brain has started to self-check all the things that are going on lately and that bitch is just not nice.
- My kids keep telling me I have to get a real job. And I have a lot of feels about that. a whole lot of feels. and boy, do i feel a storm coming on.
- i’ve remembered that bread, with butter and jam, is one of the finer things in life. toast, that is. toast.
- there’s a lot more but i wanted to reach out and touch your face a little.
be back soon.
kate
artwork by Sam Hall.
I love you so.