my understanding of people is entirely suspect and i should not be allowed out in society.
hmm. that was the headline of today’s journal entry. So I decided to leave. Because I do not want to dwell in that space. and I have the choice.
So, after taking my kid for his covid test, i bought myself some beautiful roses. a full dozen for twelve dollars, so i figure i am maintaining my thrift. they are white and yellow. i’m happy with the yellow and unsatisfied with the white. what is it about the white? i feel they are so funereal somehow, too many lilies in my life i guess. I am going to leave that perversion of color too.
I’m leaving. I’m leaving my mean inner voice for someone better. I’m leaving my self-doubt and self-recrimination for a nice hot bath. I’m just fucking walking away. Enough already. I might even turn the music on extra loud. Beatles maybe?
Maybe i should wait til the boys are done with school so they can hear and all that.