fuckit february, fuckit.

my understanding of people is entirely suspect and i should not be allowed out in society.

hmm. that was the headline of today’s journal entry. So I decided to leave. Because I do not want to dwell in that space. and I have the choice.

So, after taking my kid for his covid test, i bought myself some beautiful roses. a full dozen for twelve dollars, so i figure i am maintaining my thrift. they are white and yellow. i’m happy with the yellow and unsatisfied with the white. what is it about the white? i feel they are so funereal somehow, too many lilies in my life i guess. I am going to leave that perversion of color too.

I’m leaving. I’m leaving my mean inner voice for someone better. I’m leaving my self-doubt and self-recrimination for a nice hot bath. I’m just fucking walking away. Enough already. I might even turn the music on extra loud. Beatles maybe?

Maybe i should wait til the boys are done with school so they can hear and all that.


Leave me your words! thoughts! sweat, blood, and tears not really needed but okay, if you want... :)

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