NOVEMBER NONO: TwentyTWO, Obstacles

what’s in the way?

  • 1. Obstreperous. Obtuse.
  • 2. I can’t always make a decision. I’m often fine with just going along, and one, it makes someone else happy or two, it frustrates someone. but truly, if i can’t make a decision about something, its because I don’t frigging care. What’s for dinner? I do not care. Almost always, I do not care.
  • 3. Fear. “I can’t do that really well right off the bat, so I’m not going to.”
  • 4. Insecurity holds hands with fear and fear leads it into a swamp full of gators and snakes.
  • 5. Desire is not an obstacle, in and of itself. But when there is desire, one can chew one’s own arm off in the pursuit of its satisfaction, and that knowing can become an obstacle TO the desire, in the first place. Dig that one? Convoluted but still true. Takes some age to get that one.
  • 6. Fear. “If I try that, I might not succeed and everyone will know I am a loser.”
  • 7. Exhaustion. Seriously. Enough already.
  • 8. Fear. “Too many changes. Too many changes. I can’t handle anymore.”
  • 9. The sheer number of chairs I have in my house is an obstacle. I mean, what the hell? How did that happen?
  • 10. Mess. Mess. I used to not be afraid of it, and now I have to consider if the mess is worth the cleanup. This is a sea change. I’m getting old.

Don’t worry about me because I write morose stuff. Soon I’ll hit the ‘how to blow up fears’ list. Its just a moment, a prompt. Chill.

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