This is not edited, as I can’t find my ‘document’ on this damn laptop. Just wrote in it yesterday and now it is gone. I have a shitton of feelings about this. Which leads me to today’s prompt.
- When things go awry in little ways, i can get unmoored. Can’t get my focus back, can flit around a subject or a task for the longest time. Its not good for anyone, at all.
- There’s no heat here. Something is up with the boiler, or down, I don’t know. I’ve been in the basement more times this weekend than I’d like, and plumbers don’t work on the weekend, and I have a woodstove and plucky-spirit so fine. F.I.N.E.
- I called the plumber I usually use and they said my account was on hold so they couldn’t service my boiler, nor could they figure out how to solve that problem, because it was the weekend and the finance people do not work on the weekends. ( i pay bills when they arrive, this is some sort of error. “lil’ bit awry”? yes. fixable? no.)
- I’m hosting three or four little girls here in my cold house in a birthday-like situation. I will be sending them outside a lot because it might be warmer out there and plus, covid. I bought a lot of individually packaged snacks and have hand sanitizer all over the place. I don’t know, man. I don’t know. I feel less risky here than I did at the grocery store this morning. There are so many freaking people out. Its astonishing.
- So. no heat. lost document. ah. Online dating. My brain nearly collapses at the weird collection of mankind out there. Some who want to ‘date’ but not really spend any time together. So… thats not a super match for me. Its Covid, I don’t want to eat inside a restaurant and I like time. I like walking around a kitchen and conversing about whatever pops into my head. I can get sex anywhere, anytime, essentially. I haven’t been, but its just not a thing for me. (don’t tell my kids.)
- Plus, when i have a heating emergency, I want legitimate offers of help. I do. I will turn them down, most probably, but I want to know that there is support out there. I do. I need it like I need compliments and direct communication.
- Also, in online dating, just so you know, people disappear all the time. I have no idea what causes this. Its even hard for me to imagine, kind of, and I have a wildly good imagination. They cannot all be in ditches.
- I’m cold.
- I’m cold.
- I’m cold.
but i goddamned got another day down, didn’t I? damn straight. Cold makes me a little testy.