couple things:
- I got to read an article about how the Law of Attraction and the “Tell the Universe what you want and it will arrive” crowd are full of shit. and several puzzle pieces plonked down where they were supposed to be a long time ago.
- my kid had a great birthday.
- my teenager went to sleep with a headache around 7 last night, and that meant i could put everyone else to bed early with almost no fuss and so i was asleep at 9:10 last night. these are happy things.
1a.
I’ve been in crowds of like-minded ladies for a long time.. slightly off-center, more spirit-focused, women who ‘do work’ on themselves. many of them believe that you can ‘manifest’ your desires by speaking them out loud to the Universe. speaking, praying, burning, all of that. I am not saying they are wrong.
But, for me, my reaction to this has always been somewhat less than automatic. I’ve been ‘trying’ for it, and failing. I do believe in prayer, thought, intention, being focused… but i think it changes me, not the Universe. and I think and hope that the Universe has bigger fish to fry than me, right now. It definitely goes back to some of my feelings and beliefs in humility. I’ve written about it before and like what i wrote, being humble not being tied to low self-esteem, but to HIGH FALUTIN LIFEWORSHIP AND GRATITUDE.
and oh my god, the people who have commandeered ‘LIFE’ and made it all about abortion? they suck. SUCK.
its the same with the people who have made the American Flag into something threatening. God damn them.
This whole bubble needs a post of its own. It will arrive eventually.
2a.
The kid had a great birthday. her dad doesn’t come because his gf is not invited. he is, every year, even at the beginning. she’s now 7 and he has not been to a bday party in 3 years. I donno, maybe it doesn’t really matter.
the kid had a great birthday! 7. what a doozy. girls are just batty. I love a crew of them. I can see the beginnings of the social stuff though, so there is a weakening of the bubble wall, and it will pop for a while. We are meant to do without the bubbles. But the shift from one to the other can be fairly tumultuous. the burst bubbles can be a little shocking when its your first time.
3a.
I’m 45. My oldest is 14, then 11 almost 12, and 7. I freely admit that I have never figured out bedtime. While I am no longer full of dread at the thought of it, I am not full of positive energy either. I have given up. I have ceded to the powers that be, and i just throw them all upstairs at the same time and shut my light off. essentially, this is true, though i try sometimes to read a book or tell a story. The dream of them heading off in peace and kid-centered action is utterly and totally burst.
Going to bed before 10 is my goal, and most days i get the littlest down by 9. I think this is a ridiculous time for a 7 year old, I really do. But I surrender. I have utterly surrendered. Does this sound like a banner john bender moment? no? yeah. i didn’t think so. No Mom Award for me. Just me. Going RAAAAH in the kitchen at six in the morning as I type. Because you know? I’m okay with falling into bed with children. I might even be better than okay with it.
I am signing off now, as said teenager will be clomping down the stairs shortly.
*oh, speaking of burst bubbles. My almost 12 declared himself a vegetarian at dinner last night. there goes my ability to feed him. he ate a plate of roasted vegetables that he hated and ate some fish crackers for dessert. someone help.
le sigh.
