i’ve got several support groups going right now, support for me, i mean. i’m a hermit, we all agree, and natural shyness plays a part, as well as the hearing loss. but these unconnected groups (2) have each asked that its members make some sort of week-long commitment to something they desire. just a week, small things, little pokes in the monolith of ‘what we want’. and so i have chosen. ready?
i’m taking time this week to find my connection to Spirit. I lost my faith in God when my Dad died, in totality. Evidently I was mad, and also, now evidently, I had made my deity in the shape of my father. I am working my way back to something that is related, but utterly different, and i’m just naming it Spirit, maybe as a copout? but as a way to communicate to others what it might be like… for me its like spring earth, chill damp but sunny… potential and a captured bit of change. a focus on the surreal of nature and the connection i have to the larger world, stars and all.
how do i go about this? i mean, church ? no. no church. i can’t be hemmed in like that.
humility is involved, as always… because i am small, in a big big world. (so are seeds…dig? )
and writing. i like writing. and want more of it. and it sends out tendrils into my smoky soul.
six days, right? tiny.
writing as a callout to divinity? universality? maybe i should light a candle. maybe i should follow a prompt? look at an inspiring card? tarot? oracle?
maybe i should wear my favorite sneakers? dress the part? pencil holding hair? earrings? i know, i’m mostly just kidding. i know there’s nothing exterior that has anything to do with my inner. but maybe if i put my feather earrings on it will remind me of the flights i take that fill me up and earth me down…
maybe my metaphors will be strong and able to hoist me over the threshold…
see what i did there?
love you guys. i’ll keep you in the loop.