today is saturday, and for the first time in forever, i lay in bed. . . i mean, the dog woke me up, i came downstairs, let him out, 5:30 am, warmed up yesterdays coffee, let him back in, went back upstairs, looked at my phone to see the time, and put it back down.
closed my eyes and tried to think about what i want to do today. i cannot tell you if i have EVER had a moment like this before. my brain didn’t really know how to handle it… my thoughts shot all over the place.
i thought of pulling cards, i have these so pretty oracle cards that i like to take inspiration from… sometimes that makes me feel like my day has some spirit in it…
what makes these days feel valuable ? these days with no kids in which i have unscheduled time to lounge, or ‘whatever i want to do’… and really, its just saturday, i have saturday. BUT, MY GOD, I HAVE A WHOLE DAY!!
I thought some about my hearing, because i feel like i need to start sharing more about that. I have one ear that is deaf and one that has profound loss. and that makes two. and its a big deal for my social interactions. and it won’t do anything but get worse… hopefully slowly… 🙂 but man, sometimes people-ing can be exhaustingly hard, because i’m concentrating so hard on things that are so tiny…
i thought about my kids, one of whom is at a retreat with his quaker friends, and was home sick yesterday with a headache, but literally slept from 8:30 in the morning til 3. but is fine. right? teens.
i thought about visiting a big yardsale at a mill in new bedford today…but i’m trying to save money for the summer and for taxes, so i’m staying in and not browsing temptations… paint my nails? clean something? organize the towels? damn that kondo woman…read the rest of the Penny book?
my anxiety about ‘missing the day’ was high, and its now, 7:26, and i’m up and typing, so you know i didn’t linger very long…
i have some confusion about people who plan their day like that, is there a meditative aspect to it that my froggy brain can’t absorb?
do i just need practice? do i need to wait til i’m an empty nester? i still have a kid in my bed most nights and i roll out of bed in the morning like a ninja/samurai to keep from waking anyone until i’ve had coffee…. envision me hitting the floor in a crouch… because frequently, its real. . . 🙂
eyes open, boom, move. no thought.
i’m just looking, i guess, i’ve got to find my rhythmn for considering my days before they are all gone…
i’m happy for you type a’ers… but its not me, and that wouldn’t work for me.
what do you do? how do you set intentions for the day? do you give yourself the time? how?