Tidal changes. (day three of nablowrimo)

Lets talk perimenopause, shall we?



so. my whole menstrual life i was super regular. like, predictable as old yeller dying or old faithful, the geyser in yellowstone… (and it was only ever three days long, she says with kindof shame when she knows how much tougher it is for so many) … it was a joy. well, okay, not a joy exactly, but i could tell by my mood what was coming, found relief when it arrived because my emotions would settle soon, and when it finished, i had a burst of productive energy. I could bet my money on it. bake my cookies, etc.

And then we come to 47. This is the year of skipped months, ten days of bleeding, cramps again, holy hell of not knowing when it is ever going to end. this month, i have had two ten day long periods, and i honestly don’t even know where the blood is coming from. you’d think I’d be super skinny because my body is pumping blood out my wahoo, but no. no i am not. I have no idea how to find productive days anymore, but they do just arrive. (yes, my dr. is in contact with me and yes, this is all normal. can you fucking believe that? Normal?!)

I’ve started to read up on it because its leaving me a mushy mess, and so tired, and confused. and often, sad, and then angry. So, eat your cruciferous foods, and avocado. get farty with it. and, lift weights and exercise, and then, form meaningful relationships and take care of yourself, and all that. and don’t mind the new shape your body has, just deal with it. you are approaching elderly shape, and thats that.

Oh, and I read yesterday about Clitoral Atrophy, and how its a thing during menopause.

oh, and also? expect your male partners to be familiar with little blue pills.

so there is that to look forward to, once all this rollercoaster of blood and humanity slows.

I’m throwing in the towel. well, the bloody rag.

I apologize for this post, and yet, really, i fucking don’t.

YEah, this is about how it feels.

Perimenopause is a flat out bitch.