Tag: health

Humanity

Tidal changes. (day three of nablowrimo)

Lovelovemotherexpletive

Lets talk perimenopause, shall we?

Lets.

Believe me, THIS IS ABOUT TO BE TOO MUCH INFORMATION. TOO MUCH.

so. my whole menstrual life i was super regular. like, predictable as old yeller dying or old faithful, the geyser in yellowstone… (and it was only ever three days long, she says with kindof shame when she knows how much tougher it is for so many) … it was a joy. well, okay, not a joy exactly, but i could tell by my mood what was coming, found relief when it arrived because my emotions would settle soon, and when it finished, i had a burst of productive energy. I could bet my money on it. bake my cookies, etc.

And then we come to 47. This is the year of skipped months, ten days of bleeding, cramps again, holy hell of not knowing when it is ever going to end. this month, i have had two ten day long periods, and i honestly don’t even know where the blood is coming from. you’d think I’d be super skinny because my body is pumping blood out my wahoo, but no. no i am not. I have no idea how to find productive days anymore, but they do just arrive. (yes, my dr. is in contact with me and yes, this is all normal. can you fucking believe that? Normal?!)

I’ve started to read up on it because its leaving me a mushy mess, and so tired, and confused. and often, sad, and then angry. So, eat your cruciferous foods, and avocado. get farty with it. and, lift weights and exercise, and then, form meaningful relationships and take care of yourself, and all that. and don’t mind the new shape your body has, just deal with it. you are approaching elderly shape, and thats that.

Oh, and I read yesterday about Clitoral Atrophy, and how its a thing during menopause.

oh, and also? expect your male partners to be familiar with little blue pills.

so there is that to look forward to, once all this rollercoaster of blood and humanity slows.

I’m throwing in the towel. well, the bloody rag.

I apologize for this post, and yet, really, i fucking don’t.

YEah, this is about how it feels.

Perimenopause is a flat out bitch.

Humanity

GOT MY SHOT.

Lovelovemotherexpletive

#3 Hamilton – My Shot [[VIDEO LYRICS]] – Bing video

WOOOOH. And also, just listened to that score from Hamilton. If you haven’t, that particular link has the lyrics so you can follow along and pretend you know your history. and rock a little, too.

Got a call on a Thursday night, had a johnson and johnson on Friday morning. Got a fever Friday night after I bought all my favorite treats to celebrate. (Kids were away, so it included stuff I don’t have to share!) Fever lasted right through to Sunday afternoon so I didn’t get out to do my farmer’s market shift for my farmer and I was in bed for almost every part of it. I did get up for a bit to move to the sofa. It was pretty damn boring, friends. Fever, chills, muscle aches. Not great. But, did I give away my shot? No!

And also? Knowing exactly what has caused or is causing a sickness? A pretty unique feeling. The science of vaccinations is so clear. (to me) The whole thing was a novel experience and one I may never have again in my life.

fever, yes. First Covid vaccination? Nah… Knowing what is causing my sickness? Probably not.

And so I lapsed on my five days a week writing plan. I’m fine. I was also recovering from the sickness days of the kids, way back when. AND you know, trauma and therapy and boredom and pandemic isolation and all the stuff that has to be done around the house in the spring that I am really not doing. I did get someone in to fix the literal hole in the side of the house though. So there is that.

But now I need to find a yellow ‘close-enough’ to paint over the fix or my house will look like a patched up car, forever. I’m very psyched there is no hole in my house, don’t get me wrong. But I spotted another one this week. The game is to not attach emotion to it. It is not a failure of mine to not maintain proper upkeep. It is just a structure, which ages, and its not personal.

Anyhow. I’m sorry this is such a rattrap of interwovens. I’ve got a list of things I need to get caught up on, and posting is on it. But yes, I’d like it to be better than rattrap. Its still poetry month, maybe I’ll hunt up something good for you. My eyebrows just wiggled, just so you know.

Love love,

me.

traditional old house in green garden
This is not my house, but my god, wish that it were… Photo by Maria Orlova on Pexels.com