five minutes - lovelovemotherexpletive

Today i have everything all upsadaisy as I’ve got a kid to take to a dentist, and a highly important sports event in the life of my children. So, everything is on hold, and there is no work because of it. It feels like a pre-holiday, the big event this afternoon at two. So, i’m cleaning weird things, and looking at the clock a lot.

i just wiped down a toddler chair that i will use in three weeks. it will promptly be covered with other things i am cleaning. fo sho.

i’m letting my kid zombie out on the screen while she waits for the dentist appointment. she does better than i do, the dr. is constantly checking on me. i am so very damn concentrated on her while she’s getting her cavity filled, like, i’m singlehandedly keeping her alive.

it is utterly ridiculous. i know.

I’m just looking forward to the donuts afterwards. and the possibility of planning out her birthday party which is coming and buying all the flits and flats at the party store to make the house an even bigger circus than it is. There will be crepe paper, there will be circus.

Around this time, i got distracted and stopped writing and a whole lot of time passed us by. Now its nighttime. The game was won. GO WILDCATS!! And I thought these things over the course of the day:

Living with a high level of threat. What does it do to you? How do you shake it off when its just below the surface and you can barely shift it, can barely get a handhold…?

what is red velvet? I mean, why is that a flavor? ITs not a flavor! Its a color, a thing, but not a flavor! I insist.

my daughter celebrated the beginning of birthday week with two donuts. a taste test to see which was truly better. double chocolate or chocolate glazed… I’m not going to spoil it for you.

I LOVE this small town. I love it. I’m an outsider looking in but I LOVE it.

LOVE.

Well, here it is. I actually sat and waited for the clock to tick over into a number happier with addition, so i could do the five. This is appalling and I completely blame my mathematics education. Completely. I am a big fan of blame. I talk about it all the time. And shame. love that one too.

My best friend in the world has a lot in common with me, and many differences, and vice versa. She has started sending me helpful articles on how to deal with shame. She also demands that I turn the heat on, vaccuum more often and buy ACs for every window that there is. HELLO WISCONSIN!!

I’m cool with that. She’s my best. We’ve sorrowed many times over the fact that we most likely can’t flipflop our sexual preferences. Many times. But when you know, you know. you know?

So we muddle on. She is very funny, and man, laughing is a great thing. we should all do it more.

This week I restarted my chicken chores. Feeding them, collecting their eggs, washing their eggs, boxing em up and as it turns out, driving them around until they are all gone. Full circle. I love the little biddies. They do make me laugh. So cantankerous and just rock-like in their intellect. But, what a community of ladies. A hen house, all the time. A hen party. A gaggle. They form little packs, hierarchy is very strong with them. There are many first wives, but we call them badass bitches, boss bitches. Loud, yes, and strong. Weirdly aggressive in the watching of the egg collection. Someone pecks my leg constantly while I stand there. Not especially effective against me, but certainly annoying. everyone has their time in the box, i think. motherhood is a part of it. and loss. and complacency, and acceptance in a way. bother. dash.

be careful though. they’ll kill you and eat your innards if you let your guard down. Yes they will. the fluffy nutters.

and five.

wow. so, there that one is.

sorry, not sorry.

-chicken,

kate.

Tag: five minutes

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