nono? again?

I’m mulling over making the attempt to write every day that many make in this month of november. the original thrust was for people to try and write a novel in a month, NANOMOPO? NANOWO? to push themselves to write every day until a body of work appeared.

i can, sincerely and without question, guarantee you that i am not producing a novel.

i’m just mulling over writing daily, here, in a public way. Let me know what you think. ok?

in other news, the car is ‘pretty much’ fixed. my mom helped me pay for it, and i know that is what family is for. and i still have embarrassment anyways, and somehow making sure that it isn’t a secret makes me feel better.

(for the life of me i will never ever be able to keep a secret about myself. for others? til death. but myself? never ever. Is this a flaw? a strength? a quirk? idgaf. yes, that.)

and i’ve taken one day off each week to just do household things like bathe myself in hot water slowly, and wash my own clothes, not just theirs, maybe clean up the front porch of summer items. a slow and easy day, and if i end up watching tv i will be sad but only a little. anything goes. its rest time, for me. no kids, and any worries that come up, i solve by washing dishes. today i washed two windows, in preparation for the winterizing plastic that is going up. and, i wrote, here, publicly.

days of rest are unpaid, yes, but they do pay dividends.

my inner hellacious bitch voice is muted by the green of leaves still holding on out there. there has been no hard frost here yet and the anne of green gables beauty is all over the place. october’s crisp apple crunch.

sigh.

november is about missing things. people who are gone, lives we thought we’d have. there is something in this northeastern light that brings us all into this melancholy, all of us, i’m convinced.

there is a reason it begins with day of the dead.

i love you. do.

-lovelove