Turns out a lot of women remember that feeling, that long summer night of possibility, moms or not moms, we women have a lot that we carry.
Lets assign ourselves time to put it down. Can we do that? Can I? (besides cancer sticks, and alcohol, can i transport myself?)
I’m not talking about escape. I don’t want to escape the life I have, I love it. Its hard sometimes, but I love it. I’m talking about adding. Not some deluded self-care regimen that is really for someone else- anti-aging serum? nah, thanks, i’m good. (i have spent money, i’m not going to lie, but there are several bottles lying around that have been used for about a week and then forgotten. looks like i’m just going to age.)
Maybe I need to take a walk at midnight (uhm, with a big stick, around here there are big varmints).
If sitting on the porch this morning hadn’t had a cigarette in it, it would’ve been perfect. The air was so still. I’m deaf basically, but I think the birds were still asleep. Sleeping birds is an amazing thing to be part of.
I do pine for company, I’ll admit it. A man as joyous as I am, I think, who sees the beauty in the details. Someone to dance in the kitchen now and again. And hold hands with.
But baby, I can dance on my own.
Maybe we all need a firepit by the kitchen. We can call on our witchy women ancestors and spin.