JOY LIST. (February, of course.)

I’m positive there is a part three coming, but this is an interlude, to reassure my lovely friends, neighbors and sister, that I’m fine, just overly thoughtful and occasionally morose. 🙂 I’m fine. (and i adore you, so thank you for reminding me of that adoration.)

Here is my joy. Mostly from yesterday, because today is still new.

The ways that the sun will make a 20 degree day somehow feel sparkly, clean and not deathly.
The way your lungs feel when you walk out in it, quickly, so much cleansing going on. The lungs are happy.
Choosing to wrap a blanket around my shoulders rather than turn up the heat. Makes me feel old and wise, and that’s a fine feeling today.
Pouring out the sweet alcohol drink that I had last night that gave me a headache this morning. My mornings are more valuable than that. The sugar rush is not worth it.
When bundled up, I feel like a mystic, a fortune teller, a rotund mystic of laughter and possibility. (i think this is part of why i’m so much more myself in winter)
All the amaryllis are putting up greens except one, poor thing. I’ve decided to stop watering him. But all that green!! I’m so hopeful.
the kids are gone now through Monday. I’m not at all sure that I won’t cry during the empty spots. But I’m good with crying, I am. And it is good for me, a challenge that I will survive. (look, it made a joy list after all, the kids are deliriously happy right now, and i wouldn’t ever take that away)
The kitchen table is cleared off, and man, it seems so simple, but that’s a real joy to me. Ok, there ARE things on the table, but a jug of fading flowers and a circle of candles, wait. and a seed catalog and the watering can. but man, for me, that is cleared off. (does this worry any of you type A’s?) laughing.
More snow came last night, just enough to coat things again. And I’m going to meet a friend for burgers and fries tonight. I’ve been trying to eat healthy and I’m just hungry all the time and so a burger and fries might provide the inspiration I need. I think I may be going about this in a backwards fashion. but FRENCH FRIES!! THEY ARE A THING OF GREAT GREAT JOY!!
Last night I ate some chocolate that I bought for my kid’s late valentine celebration. I felt really guilty for many reasons, but then realized that I can buy candy for them ON SALE! CANDY ON SALE!! A GREAT GREAT JOY!! (also, possibly problematic- but this is a joy list, thats it. nothing more. look away.)

kitchen tables and candy, thats what its all about.

love love,

me.