I’m positive there is a part three coming, but this is an interlude, to reassure my lovely friends, neighbors and sister, that I’m fine, just overly thoughtful and occasionally morose. 🙂 I’m fine. (and i adore you, so thank you for reminding me of that adoration.)
Here is my joy. Mostly from yesterday, because today is still new.
- The ways that the sun will make a 20 degree day somehow feel sparkly, clean and not deathly.
- The way your lungs feel when you walk out in it, quickly, so much cleansing going on. The lungs are happy.
- Choosing to wrap a blanket around my shoulders rather than turn up the heat. Makes me feel old and wise, and that’s a fine feeling today.
- Pouring out the sweet alcohol drink that I had last night that gave me a headache this morning. My mornings are more valuable than that. The sugar rush is not worth it.
- When bundled up, I feel like a mystic, a fortune teller, a rotund mystic of laughter and possibility. (i think this is part of why i’m so much more myself in winter)
- All the amaryllis are putting up greens except one, poor thing. I’ve decided to stop watering him. But all that green!! I’m so hopeful.
- the kids are gone now through Monday. I’m not at all sure that I won’t cry during the empty spots. But I’m good with crying, I am. And it is good for me, a challenge that I will survive. (look, it made a joy list after all, the kids are deliriously happy right now, and i wouldn’t ever take that away)
- The kitchen table is cleared off, and man, it seems so simple, but that’s a real joy to me. Ok, there ARE things on the table, but a jug of fading flowers and a circle of candles, wait. and a seed catalog and the watering can. but man, for me, that is cleared off. (does this worry any of you type A’s?) laughing.
- More snow came last night, just enough to coat things again. And I’m going to meet a friend for burgers and fries tonight. I’ve been trying to eat healthy and I’m just hungry all the time and so a burger and fries might provide the inspiration I need. I think I may be going about this in a backwards fashion. but FRENCH FRIES!! THEY ARE A THING OF GREAT GREAT JOY!!
- Last night I ate some chocolate that I bought for my kid’s late valentine celebration. I felt really guilty for many reasons, but then realized that I can buy candy for them ON SALE! CANDY ON SALE!! A GREAT GREAT JOY!! (also, possibly problematic- but this is a joy list, thats it. nothing more. look away.)
kitchen tables and candy, thats what its all about.