Pfft, January.

i’m a little stuck as to a writing topic today. The grocery store threw me. I had my list, and I kept throwing more things in, like the list was just a baseline and it was full on chaos in my cart, i tell you.

i got chicken wings but no buffalo sauce. what the ever loving hell?

burrito spice but the wrong kind of tortillas. the kids will revolt. i’m trying to get them into corn, as its more lots of things, but its going to be rough rough going.

i bought myself a kombucha to drink but then made a smoothie. with a protein powder that i also bought. hello, i am drinking chocolate-colored chalk. and i’m forcing myself to because HEALTH! I SPENT MONEY ON IT!

i got everything to make a crockpot meal today and i already know i’m not going to like it. What fresh hell is this? Why do i have to eat chicken and black bean spicy chili? Why can’t these kids live on mac and cheese forever and shut the hell up?

if i only make what i like we will all have rickets.

so good goddamnit, already. someone send me a chef. preferably single, of age, with sparkly eyes and a penis.

thank you.

love love,


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