i’m moving away a little from the shock and awe that caused this post, but it did, I had it.
my LM had a less than stellar response to a very old friend of mine who is related to my ex. I mean, his reaction was twofold, 1. A person who clearly loves me. 2. a very judgemental, class-oriented, conflicted criticizer.
now, these things are both true. but when you have loved someone for so long, you have a tendency to gloss over things, and put them on a pedestal of sorts.
there are so many questions;
*am I okay with this judgement because i’m usually on the winning side? ultimately, this one is a humdinger.
*I’ve always brushed off the criticisms, because of the longevity of the relationship and the humor that also always resides.
*how much do i let LM change my opinions? or am i just seeing the whole world in a new light? with a new mate who is not informed by decades of history?
*was it an incomplete love in the first place? that allowed me to do the glossing? can i absorb the new and complete version and still maintain the love and the pedestal?
how the hell do we love each other? we, complex, multiply-layered bodysacks of confusion? c’mon now… HOW?
2 thoughts on “Pedestals”
I love this post. I’ve been struggling with similar ideas since 2016—all this loving and thinking is hard. And living, which is what my autocorrect thought I meant by “loving.”
I’m glad to have found you again! I’m glad you’re writing again!
Oh Fern, this comment got lost and thankfully, found, today. I’m glad you found me again, and I’m so glad for thoughtfilled people, so glad.