i am, i really am.
but i’m having a bit of a rough go of it this morning, getting back into the swing of keeping busy while in betweenst works.
but the slowness is good, right? gives me time to think, make a plan and think of its steps…
sometimes dropping the ball lets you see the whole field. 
deep breaths along with the thump of the heart beat.
i might be deciding to date again. i haven’t fully made up my mind. i’ve been given a greenlight by my steady lover, because we both know he is too busy (me too) and too far (me too) and we love each other but.
its okay, and there? practicality rules. without sorrow, especially.
and. because i love him, i still have him. any way we can.
but in this deep breath, moment of quiet, i know how much time i spend dithering with online dating… fiddling with responses and swipes and that doesn’t even get me to the actual meets. its a form of long-winded shopping… many many windows…
so it gives me more pause than i was expecting.
i think i might have other things to do. maybe my man can just come find me.
someone tell the Universe.
