Bobbits. (.)

these things:

• a meditation today stated that my third eye was the connection between my soul and the universe. i was shocked to think my brain, that piece way up there, had a use, a connection, possibly for the first time, in my emotional and spirtitual life. Why am i so disjointed?
  I’ve always been an ‘overthinker’, using my brain to distance myself from the pure emotion, both as defense and then some more defense. I’ve never been happy about that overthinking; its been that piece that i’ve called ‘lazy’ and ‘condescending’, as if my brain wouldn’t allow me to be snivelling in sorrow in the corner because it just didn’t suit what my practical side needed/wanted. tell me ‘snivelling’ doesn’t hold an opinion that you can hear, right?
  technically the third eye is supposed to be about intuition, which is a much better mix of brain and emotion than you’d think from my convoluted meanderings above. somehow it struck me today, is all, that my brain might be useful. go figure.
  
• an understanding of boundaries is growing in me. I can be very dry in establishing them, very drought-oriented, conserving resources where and when I so design, making sure my water runs clear.
  
• there is a new door being built on my house. this is taking forever. so far, an entire week. i am adjusting expectations on a daily basis. it is step one-A, before a wall can be put up, which will mean a bathroom can be put in. sadly, i think this will take actual years, and this does not make me feel excited.
  
• the heart has a lot to do with compassion, and much less to do with kissing booths. the great teeming masses, the humanity. the common grounds we walk on, and so forth. Even compassion for those you do not like. (see every headline that there is, honestly.) Fyi, blame doesn’t fucking help anything, ever.
  
• there is a lot of talk about drought here, what with my work with two different farmers in the area. There is no more humor and the dirt-streaked faces are not smiling, more and more often. Our entire society needs an overhaul. what we NEED and what we value and what we reward with dollars are all completely fucked up. Farmers can’t afford their houses. Bankers have two or three houses. One of those professions is irreplaceable and the other is incredibly replaceable. What are we doing? How’d this set up happen?

I love you guys, I’m figuring out summer, just as it hits the halfway mark. I’ll be back soon,

-lovelove