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NOVEMBER NONO: SIXTEEN. Sanctuary

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Maybe i should be looking for sanctuary. And therein a prompt. How do you seek your sanctuary? Really. Tell me. TELL ME YOURS.

  1. In some ways i feel like this is a trick. Like, how i seek my calm, my center… hasn’t been stretched beyond imagining in this past 9 months? Like a bath does it for me anymore? 
  2. When I can remember or gather my strength, going outside is very good. If there is sun, its so much better. Getting a chance to define dapple, over and over. 
  3. Some of these things are things i remember from a distance, because i don’t have that strength or that gathering force. Walks with music used to remind me who I am, what stirs me musically being so particular. 
  4. I am deeply satisfied by writing. I’m also deeply satisfied by sharing the writing. I don’t know how to examine that further, or if I should be making judgements on it. Today I am going to say no. or actually, just not during this hour to type. I’m sure I’ll spend the rest of the day judging it.
  5. My kid sings the most beautiful version of “Sanctuary” . It is spooky beautiful and maybe has made me cry once.
  6. Sometimes it means snuggling my kids, and sometimes it means being by myself, with them away. Both are so enriching, so affirming. 
  7. Today I’m really tired. I did get heat back. My neighbor taught me how to light the pilot light. I did host the three littles for the birthday. I did fall asleep in my clothes with my little at 9. I’m still just wiped. I sent off the writing I’m scared of. The boys are depressed by remote learning and I’m dealing with body humor all the time. If I see ONE more ass hanging out, I tell you. The next birthday takes place somewhere else and I’m set. Basically, now I wait for January. I’m going to stop here because I’m just too meh.
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